#44

This is a list found on the Internet about the things that women really love. Well, like most things that women claim to want, they bear no resemblance to what they really want. The problem with these lists is that they forget to add the second line that explains what happens when they actually get what they ask for. Luckily, because I'm a cold-hearted cynic, I've taken the time to do just that.

1. Getting kissed in the pouring rain.
And then developing pneumonia because you were too stupid to use an umbrella.

2. Have that one hot kiss where you're pressed against the wall.
And then pressing charges for sexual assault.

3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world.
Because men who think about anything other than you are obviously unfaithful!

4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs.
Nothing beats a collapsed lung, right?

5. A guy that you don't have to be with 24/7 to know that he loves you.
Because you had a special microchip embedded into his feeble brain to control him with.

6. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
And then dies of dehydration because tears are saltwater and you cry an all the time!

7. A guy who tells you that your smile makes everything better.
Sure you cheated on him with an entire football team, but just smile and everything will be better.

8. A guy that will play her favorite song outside her window.
Regardless of musical incompetence and uses an accordion.

9. A guy who squeezes your hand.
And because of this you develop premature arthritis, yay!

10. A guy that says he loves you and means it.
Aside from the guys that say "I love you" and mean it as a punch line.

11. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance.
Even if you were screwing his best friend and brother at the same time.

12. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
Even when it's covered with puss-dripping zits.

13. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
What could possibly beat getting a migraine from your a tone-deaf boyfriend as he bellows Snoop Dogg's "Trust Me".

14. A guy who stands up for you no matter who he is against.
Especially if you're in trouble with the Mob. Just hope he hasn't seen Scarface.

15. A guy that will never judge you for how you look.
Then why are you constantly asking to judge if other women are prettier than you?

16. A guy who you can hangout and have fun with.
Which means that he had better have fun by watching you get your nails done and spend all of his money on handbags and shoes.

17. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
Like when you dump him for that rich doctor you've always dreamed about.

18. A guy that tells you everything honestly.
Because every girl wants to hear the truth when they ask their boyfriend if he thinks they're too fat.

19. A guy that will always let you win.
Even if the girl knows she's terrible at a game she wants a guy to blatantly lie to her and pretend he sucks even more she does just to make her sad ego feel better.

20. Wearing his jacket and every time you breath in, his scent surrounds you.
And since he just finished smoking a huge rock of crack, you get a nice contact buzz.

21. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
You know real tear-jerkers like Debbie Does Dallas, and Backdoor Sluts 9.

22. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable... not hot, fine, or sexy.
The reason he doesn't call you sexy is because you're ugly and you're only adorable in the same way a baby covered in afterbirth is adorable.

23. A guy that is the same when he is with you as he is when with his friends.
In that case you want a guy who is drunk, flirting with every girl in the room, and peeing in your house plants.

24. A guy who will sit on the phone with you when you're sad, even if you're quiet.
Not like it matters as long as you're footing the bill. Why should he use up his minutes to talk to a mime?

25. A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.
If you can find a guy with such incredibly low standards, go for him!

26. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair, like he's washing your worries away.
But then gets tangled in it and daftly rips out a huge bloody chunk of your scalp.

27. A guy that will just randomly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you.
Like, for instance, when he's taking a huge dump after eating Taco Bell. That's a good time for a call.

Disclaimer: Yes, I know that all people are different, men, women, transvestites, etc. We all have our own different desires and dislikes. Instead of sending me hate mail try buying a sense of humor.

#43

click to see full size image!

#42

I do believe I have stumbled upon the greatest site of all

TasteSpotting!

the food there is just divine.
that is an understatement by the way!

the best part of it is
it's all compiled from different sites
they mostly come with recipes
which is awesome.

also it's not crowded with words
just loads of yummy lip smacking photo's

i feel so deprived right now. lol.

#41

stumbling through some websites
i found these...hhahaha
comment on youtube
and random ad from some motivational poster site.

comment reads oombu da thevidiya mavane...HAHAHAHAHAHAWTF!

this one just makes no sense at all!
i get breast enhancement. i get ringtone.
just not together!
breast enhancement ringtone?
HOW THE FUCK!?
who even....what the....oh nevermind!

#40

you know how when you search in google, a few suggestions show up at the bottom
...
well, ...
look for yourself!

#39

 _ _                         _                        _ _
(_| )                       | |                      | | |
_|/ _ __ ___    ___  ___   | |__   ___  _ __ ___  __| | |
| | | '_ ` _ \  / __|/ _ \  | '_ \ / _ \| '__/ _ \/ _` | |
| | | | | | | | \__ \ (_) | | |_) | (_) | | |  __/ (_| |_|
|_| |_| |_| |_| |___/\___/  |_.__/ \___/|_|  \___|\__,_(_)
                                                        

#38

we have different levels of intelligence
our interests lie in opposite poles
why is this thing so complicated?
and why can't i let it just end

unnecessary knowledge #1:
About 500 movies are made in the US and 800 in India annually.

unnecessary knowledge #2:
A female donkey's milk is closest to human milk.

unnecessary knowledge #3:
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

unnecessary knowledge #4:
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

okay i better stop generating those
highly addictive.
get addicted yourself here

#37

it's a quarter past 2
2 am that is
freaking can't sleep
everyone seems to be avoiding me tonight
fuckers!
lol

yeah, i tried doing the poison apple from snow white
it turned out pretty good actually
good enough that i put some colour on it.

i'll put a photo of it up soon.
in due time i mean

i'm addicted to downloading stuff on bit torrent now
i just randomly go look and software i don't really need
or movies i have no intention of watching
from pirate bay

pirate bay has to be the awesome-st thing ever!
EVER!

rubandren was having waffle over the phone
i really want waffle now
i had it approximately 4 months ago
i really miss having waffles
another minus point for segi
freaking jail food with no waffles!

i guess everywhere you go there'll be something to complain about la
i complained in sunway
now i'm complaining in segi
soon i'll go elsewhere and complain there too
i can't help it that everything's not perfect right?
:)

not like i'm perfect anyways
but still, my flaws make me
so i'm a perfect me
cuz if i didn't have my flaws i wouldn't be me
therefore, not perfect
which makes me perfect now
=D

will somebody tell me wtf this is???
SOMEBODY?!

#36

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

#35

tried to draw newton as one of the artwork designs
two words: epic fail

i see it in my head all perfect
but it just doesn't translate very well onto paper
sucks for me!

oh yeah i reinstalled the stumbleupon toolbar on my firefox browser
never again will i be bored
never again will i do anything else either
lol!

#34

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of
Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they had 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt.
Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they had Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now, when someone say's you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.

#33

This has GOT to be the stupidest ad i've ever come across on facebook

#32

baking chocolate chip cookies again today
cookie dough taste abso-fucking-lutely amazing!
i'll put photo's up on the photoblog!
♥

#31

PHOTOBLOG is up and running.
hopefully i can keep it updated.
well it should be updated thanks to Fundamental Photography
click here to go to my new (and experimental) photoblog

#30

forget the drawing
i'm too random today to draw anything specific

oh bugger me
the cramps are just hideous!

i can't wait for cookies tomorrow
total ownage that recipe!

i've always been this science student
like books were all there was to study
now i'm taking photography and graphic design
very hands on subjects
i'm not terrible at it, i'm just new to professional art i guess
oh well, at least i'm having fun while learning
i would have never imagined myself saying that

hahaha

#29

well finished the 11 designs in time
had to do a little fixer upper in class but that's okay

the apple designs had some issues so yeahh
i'm guessing i can use like 2 or 3 of the 5 i did
not too bad i guess
but i'll obviously design better looking ones
research is due as well

i shall work on my summaries tomorrow

more chocolate chip cookies tomorrow too

lunch...not too sure what i'll fix but nothing fancy i guess
so lazy
and the fridge is barren

well, i'm off to draw now
hope something good comes out of it


bye bye miss mangala,
it was a pleasure!

#28

oh my guy ritchie!
i completely forgot about the opposites artwork design!
now i have till tomorrow afternoon to finish 6 designs!!!
zomg!

i've just been so upset today
i hate how people make up excuses for themselves


okay today i'm going to try and finish up
the opposites and 5 of the apple ones
then i'll have 6 left to do in the holidays
plus photography
i think i'll try the fill flash shots on friday
i'll do the exposure shots later too

okay i can't really type cuz
my head is telling me i have loads to do
and blogging isn't really helping.

owh i found this really cute video
its this puppy lying upside down
its trying to get up but it can't
so its just like rolling back and forth
so cute!
♥

#27

i'm absolutely loving my intro to mass comm class
today's was bring a magazine to class
so yeah we brought magazines
got lectured on where, when and how magazines came about
then just went in front and discussed the demographics
of our magazines then we got to go home
in less than 2 hours

germaine is totally high and random
and she says the wierdest things ever
haha. loves her!

okay so far, i've got photography work, which i'm sort of ahead of time
then there's my graphic design artwork displays
today we got a new assignment
its not much just 2 summaries from the magazine

i've got 2 weeks break
hoping to finish all my work within then

i HAVE to go hang out with levina
she's been down i don't know how many times this year
and i only saw her like once
i'm such a bad child. lol

i just wanna have some gf time
just hanging out, baking stuff
diy spa-ing
stuff like that
so tired of walking around malls

there was the whole genting plan
but i mean i'm just not that into it
so i guess i'm gonna skip that

back to the 2 week break
i have GOT to plan something out
otherwise i'll be lazing around doing nothing
then when its time to go back to classes
i'll be to stoned to get back into the studying mood

of course i have that photojournalism assignment
i was thinking of taking photo's of the streets of kl
that'll take up 1 day, 2 days max
then i'll finish my summaries before this weekend
my graphic design i'll do on one of the days
i want to be properly rested and awake
because everything i've been drawing so far
looks so pre-school

oh yeah, i should review my marketing too
i'm so gonna suffer when it comes to the exams
nothing has been going into my head at all
we'll have to sort that out soon.

i'll probably keep myself busy baking and cooking
before that, i obviously have to go shopping first
weather's been real hot so fizzy lemon drink would be awesome
all you need is fizzy water, lemon liqueur, sugar, ice
okay, enough of that

i have to make freaking tuna sandwiches later

i said i'd go for p&w too
wish i hadn't but diwana really wants me to come
and i wouldn't want to ditch her

i really freaking hate food blogs
especially those with cute looking deserts in it
makes me want to bake
and eat
rawr!

#26

welcome to procrastination 101, we will begin
...
soon!


wow i am so doomed.
i have to get mounting boards before thursday
20% of the course is something
i don't want to just not care about

but honestly why is black mounting board
so hard to find!?


well at least i've cut out my 10 by 10 squares
so all i have to do now is
draw on them
draw what? well i don't quite know
obviously something that's going to give me 20%

oh jesus, i'm fucked

#25

orphan, watched it!

it was awesome!

went to midvalley with rubandren and mervyn
bummed around, got flip flops for ruby
then went to the movie

blood, blood, BLOOOOOD

i'd go watch it again
i'm just gonna add esther to the list of names i don't want any
of my things to be associated with

#24

graphic design
the class i'm gonna spend most of my time on

drawing is definitely not my thing
not this kinda drawing anyway

6 different artworks on an apple?
wtf!

and another 6 on opposites?
in 4 days?

i'm doomed!

#23

whats for supper?
caramelized banana
it tastes so good
but it also tastes unhealthy
lol

oh well, once in a while is okay i guess

i really want to make peach cobbler
found this recipe the other day
looks simple enough
all i need now is to go get some peaches

#22

orphan
i really want to watch it

today's class we were supposed to talk about a book
felt like a book club meeting or something
but it was fun

farah was talking about this book called
the boy called It
it's about a boy that was tortured by his own mother
as a child

really traumatizing the way she explained to class
the things the boy had to go through

best part of it all?
it's non fiction.
yes, it's all true

the book is actually an autobiography
this boy, man now obviously
wrote about everything he had gone endured
and how he had no idea how to behave
towards people

by writing his story i think he helps a lot of people
including himself

here's just some reviews farah mentioned la
it's from amazon.com
just to give you an idea of the book

Amazon.com Review
David J. Pelzer's mother, Catherine Roerva, was, he writes in this ghastly, fascinating memoir, a devoted den mother to the Cub Scouts in her care, and somewhat nurturant to her children--but not to David, whom she referred to as "an It." This book is a brief, horrifying account of the bizarre tortures she inflicted on him, told from the point of view of the author as a young boy being starved, stabbed, smashed face-first into mirrors, forced to eat the contents of his sibling's diapers and a spoonful of ammonia, and burned over a gas stove by a maniacal, alcoholic mom. Sometimes she claimed he had violated some rule--no walking on the grass at school!--but mostly it was pure sadism. Inexplicably, his father didn't protect him; only an alert schoolteacher saved David. One wants to learn more about his ordeal and its aftermath, and now he's written a sequel, The Lost Boy, detailing his life in the foster-care system. Though it's a grim story, A Child Called "It" is very much in the tradition of Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul and the many books in that upbeat series, whose author Pelzer thanks for helping get his book going. It's all about weathering adversity to find love, and Pelzer is an expert witness.

From School Library Journal
Grade 9 Up?This autobiographical account charts the abuse of a young boy as his alcoholic mother first isolates him from the rest of the family; then torments him; and finally nearly kills him through starvation, poisoning, and one dramatic stabbing. Pelzer's portrayal of domestic tyranny and eventual escape is unforgettable, but falls short of providing understanding of extreme abuse or how he made his journey from "Victim to Victor." It takes some work to get past the poor writing and the self-aggrandizing back matter, but the book tries fervently to provide a much-needed perspective. One of the greater obstacles to healing for males is admitting that they have been victims, especially if their perpetrator is a woman. This author has overcome that obstacle and succeeded in life by such masculine norms as joining the Air Force and receiving awards for his volunteerism. However, while personal accounts of child maltreatment provide crucial information about the realities of childhood, youngsters need insight and hope in order to digest the raw material of abuse. James Deem's The 3 NBs of Julian Drew (Houghton, 1994) is a well-crafted, fictional work that effectively covers much of the same ground.?Carolyn Polese, Humboldt State University, Arcata, CA
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.


so yeah, pretty deep stuff
really traumatizing too
and it being a true story is very disturbing

zSHARE - Hallelujah - Piano Cover by Jessica Divakaran.mid

zSHARE - Hallelujah - Piano Cover by Jessica Divakaran.mid

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